Friday, May 30, 2003
I've just been looked at in a very strange way by everyone in the office for bursting out laughing at the following:
Its a section about the stories kids would make up to pass the time:
The Adventures of Licky Bongo
These adventures were always detailed by Mudge on school trips - coaches inducing a mild form of cabin fever. Lickybongo’s adventures included him being chased by a crocodile and escaping by pulling an inflatable QE2 out of his arse, and meeting a shelfstacker in ASDA who had tits on the end of her arse. Mudge was made to sit on his own normally about ten minutes into his monologues, because he was laughing too loudly at his own clearly disturbed mind.
LOL, WTF is that all about. I have no idea. Funniest thing I have seen today though.
Its a section about the stories kids would make up to pass the time:
The Adventures of Licky Bongo
These adventures were always detailed by Mudge on school trips - coaches inducing a mild form of cabin fever. Lickybongo’s adventures included him being chased by a crocodile and escaping by pulling an inflatable QE2 out of his arse, and meeting a shelfstacker in ASDA who had tits on the end of her arse. Mudge was made to sit on his own normally about ten minutes into his monologues, because he was laughing too loudly at his own clearly disturbed mind.
LOL, WTF is that all about. I have no idea. Funniest thing I have seen today though.
Oh my god, these things have nearly reduced me to tears, and I have no idea why. Must be the heat:
Kippering.
Yet another game with no obvious intention or worth beyond providing further means to elevate yourself a whisker above your peers. The game operated only within a small social circle and involved asking a friend a question you already knew the answer to. At the game's most base level, for example, you may ask "is this a banana?" while clearly holding a banana in front of the proposed kippering victim. If he replied with a straight answer to the question then he had been "kippered", and the correct response of the kipperer was to adopt a dramatically pained expression and look away while exhaling heavily, usually following up with the phrase "ooh, kippered him a treat". If the proposed victim spotted the kipper coming, saying "You're alright, mate" would block the kipper. The game died a natural death after a couple of months when no conversation could occur among my friends without a dozen kippering attempts and everyone was constantly on their guard to the point of replying to any spoken word with "You're alright, mate". I'm ashamed to say that me and my friends were in our Upper Sixth when this game evolved from christ-knows-where.
I can just imagine that ;-)
Kippering.
Yet another game with no obvious intention or worth beyond providing further means to elevate yourself a whisker above your peers. The game operated only within a small social circle and involved asking a friend a question you already knew the answer to. At the game's most base level, for example, you may ask "is this a banana?" while clearly holding a banana in front of the proposed kippering victim. If he replied with a straight answer to the question then he had been "kippered", and the correct response of the kipperer was to adopt a dramatically pained expression and look away while exhaling heavily, usually following up with the phrase "ooh, kippered him a treat". If the proposed victim spotted the kipper coming, saying "You're alright, mate" would block the kipper. The game died a natural death after a couple of months when no conversation could occur among my friends without a dozen kippering attempts and everyone was constantly on their guard to the point of replying to any spoken word with "You're alright, mate". I'm ashamed to say that me and my friends were in our Upper Sixth when this game evolved from christ-knows-where.
I can just imagine that ;-)
Just found a brilliant new site about how horrible kids can be and the stupid games we used to play at school. The law of the playground
An example of just how stupid we were:
Japs and Brits.
This game involves running around "shooting" each other with "guns". Of course, having no uniforms or other way of distinguishing between the two sides you had to ask "Jap or Brit?" before shooting. Luckily, real wars are more organised, with different sides wearing easily distinguishable colours, except for spies, who wear black.
An example of just how stupid we were:
Japs and Brits.
This game involves running around "shooting" each other with "guns". Of course, having no uniforms or other way of distinguishing between the two sides you had to ask "Jap or Brit?" before shooting. Luckily, real wars are more organised, with different sides wearing easily distinguishable colours, except for spies, who wear black.
Do yourself a favour. Go to www.thefridaything.co.uk and subscribe. It's £10 for 52 issues. It's intelligent and somtimes funny and tells you things it thinks you ought to know.
Thursday, May 29, 2003
Oh My God! Weapons of Mass Destruction found! Including 100 vials of Anthrax!!!
Although, they happen to be in Maryland, not Iraq. The only country which is repeatedly proved to have MWD is the sodding US.
I love bacon is running an all-time classic web-page series today.
All the above shamelessly nicked from Manic
Although, they happen to be in Maryland, not Iraq. The only country which is repeatedly proved to have MWD is the sodding US.
I love bacon is running an all-time classic web-page series today.
All the above shamelessly nicked from Manic
Sunday, May 25, 2003
As if I didn't have enough crap going on in my life, last night my sodding TV blew up!!!
So, off to the shop to buy one as i need one tonight! And although its cheaper online, no-one is gonna delever it inside 3 hours are they.
Still, Apolo 2000 have a lovely 28" widescreen with stand for £250, I think that's the one for me fatty.
Jeezuz, I cannot believe how much cash I've spent on stuff this month. I'll be selling myself on streetcorners next.
So, off to the shop to buy one as i need one tonight! And although its cheaper online, no-one is gonna delever it inside 3 hours are they.
Still, Apolo 2000 have a lovely 28" widescreen with stand for £250, I think that's the one for me fatty.
Jeezuz, I cannot believe how much cash I've spent on stuff this month. I'll be selling myself on streetcorners next.
